Apr 09 2009
Ain’t no make believe
“The path of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.”-William Blake
It is my sincere and wholehearted belief that when all is said and done, John Morrisn will end up being the breakout star of the WWE in a few years. Everyone has their little picks: CM Punk, Elijah Burke when we has with the company, MVP, even Morrisn’s partner the Miz. But as I look at the youth movement in the wrestling world, only one man stands out to me, and that is the Tuesday Night Delight himself.
Let’s go through the list of traits required for a main-event draw, shall we? First and foremost is, of course, wrestling ability (The Great Khali notwithstanding). Morrison obviously has this covered. He can mat wrestle with the most qualified among them and his size and reach can let him press-slam a cruiserweight with little suspension of disbelief.
As well, what’s often overlooked for a tall guy, he can fly. Who can forget his countless springboard kicks, his corkscrew spalshes? Of course, there’s the infamous moonsault with the ladder at Wrestlemania. What’s interesting to me is John Morrison can wrestle a number of different styles. Whatever the situation or storyline, Morrison can adapt, and you know Vince is always interested in that.
To me, he’s also the better half of the tag team. The Miz just strikes me as an annoying frat boy, the type of dork that still uses the word “rad” and thinks he’s cool because he laughs at his own jokes. Morrison, on the other hand, has the right amont of laid-back, self-deprecating charm to get over. The Miz will get a push and likely be a hit with fans, but he’ll be stuck in midcard purgatory, a perpetual IC champion. On the other, John Morrison has the right amount of charisma and skills to break through to the main event.
I’m not gay by any means but HOLY CRAP is the guy fit. I’m sure there’s a million people out there that would kill to have John Morrison’s physique. I hate to say it, but our culture today, and especially the realm of professional wrestling, is shallow and domnated by apperances. He’s obviously got that in spades.
All too often you’d look at a guy like him that must train like a monster and think he’s just another dumb meathead. Not so. When he gets on the mich, he’s quite literate and obviously isn’t afraid to mock himself and others. It’s refreshing to see a performer who is not only muscular but intelligent and that “gets” the business as well.
It doesn’t just help to be a skilled technician. You have to have charisma, pizzaz, a certain animal magnetism to you. You can do wristlocks all day, Dean Mlaenko, but if you’re as interesting as mixing paint, the fans aren’t gonna wanna see ya. It shuld go without saying that Morrison has this in spades. Everytime he does his slow motion entrance or hosts the Dirt Sheet, he has me cracking up in tears. The way he apes his namesake, Jim Morrison, and takes himself so seriously in a sort of self-parody is hilarious.
You can cheer CM Punk all you want, but I have a feeling the guy will enjoy a modest, Arn Andersn or Booker T sort of popularity: he’ll be over but never in that upper stratosphere. He’s got workrate out the wazoo, but he lacks that extra intagible that makes the fans connect to him. I’ve heard his heel work in ROH is brimming with personality, but until he brings that to the big dance, he’ll always be trapped in the mid-card, IC title reigns a-plenty. Hate to rain on the smark parade, but there it is.
Humor is often something missing from today’s wrestling landscape. Back in the Attitude Era, when the likes of D-Generation X and The Rock ruled the roast, you could crack jokes and be goofy and still be serious and back it up in the ring. That’s a fine line not a lot of wreslers understand how to walk: they go to either extreme, leaving the fanbase in the dust.
Remember RNN? Randy Orton’s news center to update us on his broken shoulder? His subtle touches and self-assured hamminess were a rare sight of amusemnet in an otherwise stale wrestling scene at the time. Yeas later he’s stepped up his game and developed a far darker, more serious character. Still, I feel comedy is an elemnt that could freshen him up and make him a little less one-dimensional.
John Morrison throws in a lot of subtle detals to his gimmick that keep me enthralled. The fact that he wears sunglasses at all times speaks volumes about he views himself as a rock star/prophet. His faux-stoic manner of speaking lends credence to his status as a wannabe-philosopher. His gaudy fur coats and the time he Bedazzled his stomach went unnoticed by many, but revered by the few who caught it.
With this in mind, let us remember that we don’t blog at the palace of wisdom. Here’s hoping the Shaman of Sexy gets a world title in a few years or so:
